Ameila announced in the car en route to school this morning – as she was admiring her new piercing in my rear view mirror by craning neck and practically sitting on my lap – ‘I’ve got detention today’.
Why? I asked
Because I didn’t sign my homework diary.
You? You! You’re not supposed to sign your homework diary, I am.
Ben is eyerolling in the back seat. He observes rules with the same doggedness that Amelia flagrantly breaks every one. He’d never dare pierce his ear (even if he felt inclined) and he wouldn’t dream of forging my signature in his homework diary.
Not madam beside me here though.
She giggles. Well, she says, you’re always too busy.
I ask whether the street cred she will surely acquire on account of new piercing will be compromised by fact she has to spend 45 minutes in detention sanding down old school furniture.
‘Nah’, she says confidently, ‘it’ll add to it; it’ll mean I’m a really Bad, Bad Girl. And when my mates know how I pierced my ear, they’ll all be asking me to do the same for them and I can charge them and set up an body-piercing business’.
God help me.