Fur Flying

 

I have to move my cats to Outpost.

Given that this would involve a 15 hour drive, I have managed to secure them space on a charter flight on Monday.

I need, now, to source a cat box from which they cannot escape; as was pointed out to me, nobody wants a cat going nuts at 15,000 ft up. I can quite see why.

Cat box isn’t a problem – a friend has offered to loan me hers. The problem is that my cats – Orlanda (Orlando until vet came to pick pockets to discover there were none, so a cat who has undergone sex change but not for the usual reasons) and Moshi – hate each others’ guts. One cannot pass the other without hurling abuse (spitting, hissing, doing that horrible deep throated growl that cats do so well) or giving a quick jab with an unsheathed claw. Full scale brawls at 2am are not uncommon.

I face a dilemma. Do I tell the pilot who has kindly agreed to give my cats a ride that they hate each other and are liable to fight throughout the two hour flight? Or do I pretend that the stress of travel has brought out the worst in them both?

I would like to sit cats down and explain to them that they are very lucky to be flying, that they would not appreciate a 15 hour drive on appalling roads, sharing a box any more than I’d enjoy listening to their bickering for 15 hours whilst constrained in same vehicle, and so it’d be prudent to behave themselves.

But that, of course, would be a waste of time.

As Ben has observed, by the time they arrive in Outpost, having been obliged to share same small space, they will look like naked mole rats, each having ripped the fur from the other.

So long as they do it quietly, I really couldn’t care less.

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5 Responses to “Fur Flying”

  1. Roberta Says:

    After I stop laughing at the visual, I have a suggestion that might keep both cats intact.

    Simply drop both cats into seperate pillow cases and tie a knot in the top. Then place both pillowcases into the box.

    Problem solved.

  2. Roberta Says:

    I still get muddled up on the Star Spangled Banner. And I’m American!

  3. Minx Says:

    And this was the advice that you had to give that kept you away from your husband’s side, Roberta? I am nearly crying here.

    I suggest drugs, Mem, both for the cats, and Roberta!

  4. Carol Says:

    I’m with Minx there – you can drug your children for long-distance flights – so I’m sure you can give the cats some Phenergan or something similar…. but I was told that it can have the opposite effect so maybe that’s not such a good plan!

  5. reluctantmemsahib Says:

    No, no, no! I have been told must not, absolutely not, sedate them. I asked (my hairdresser) why (since she seems to be expert on most things). She had story to relate of somebody moving cats around Tanzania whose animals were ‘sedated’ by a local vet. Except, related hairdresser, it transpired that ‘sedation’ was equivalent of an LSD trip, and as cat came down (on the way up – to 15,000ft) it went beserk, nuts, crazy: it clawed its way through cage and then thru owner and pilot, who was terrified it was going to claw way into cockpit, had to return to base, land and put cat and very embarrassed owner out on runway. This is why I am glad I am not flying with my cats. I have been trying to introduce them to cage but they will not get in. Even when tempted with some steak. I tried to push them in but they put back legs around entrance and reversed out. Needless to say, I got quite badly scratched. I dread Monday. Especially as have to rendevouz with pilot at 5.45 am.

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