Green Fingered?

My Lawn

This is what my lawn looks like.

This is post planting – courtesy of grass delivered by non-conversant pilot – and post signifant amount of (precious) watering. This is not strictly lawn-cultivating country but I am determined to beat the odds and have a garden. With a lawn. One that I can mow.

I am not a good gardener. I have learnt, by default, over the years sort of what to do.  And mostly what not to do. I buy gardening books. But not because I read them (I mean to), mainly in the hope that people might notice them lying – redudant – under coffee table, gathering dust (especially here, no lawn and all that) and think, ‘well at least she’s trying, bless her!’.

I buy packets of seeds which expire before I plant them out. I buy plants in pots which die when they become root-bound . I try to artfully design rockeries but my efforts look as if I’ve buried an entire tribe in my garden: the Masai bury their dead beneath mounds of stones and each time they pass – as a mark of respect – they add another: that’s what my rockeries are inclined to look like: piles of stones. And not much else.

I’d love people to say of me, as they say of friends of mine, ‘she’s got a beautiful garden, isn’t she clever’. I’d love to be able to spout the latin names of exotic flowers. I’d love to know what plants are meant to go where and whether they like sun or shade. But then I’d quite like people to recognise me as a fabulous cook too and that isn’t likely to ever happen.

Just as Domestic Goddess and my name are never going to be used in the same sentence, I doubt Green Fingered and I will be either.

Still, a lawn would be nice …

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6 Responses to “Green Fingered?”

  1. Omega Mum Says:

    Much better for being recognised for writing an entertaining blog, to my mind (and I speak as a rubbish gardener and accidental cook). I like the idea of rockery as place for burying things – much more to the point.

  2. reluctantmemsahib Says:

    Thanks OM – that made me feel much better about dustbowl that masquerades as ‘garden’. Friend has suggested burying wine bottles in veg garden, says its meant to be useful irrigation technique in dry land country. Not entirely sure how that works. She added wine bottles oughtn’t be a problem for me. So now I’m not only rubbish gardener and cook but also verging-on-alcoholic too. Ah well.

  3. retrocolonialmama Says:

    http://curlydock.wordpress.com/tag/irrigation/

    mem the link above might be helpful on the wine bottle irrigation technique.

  4. roberta Says:

    I have just finished mowing our five hilly acres.
    Your yard, right now, looks fine to me.

  5. The Good Woman Says:

    Just remember to talk to it Mem. Then you can also throw ‘loopy’ into the descriptive soup.

  6. reluctantmemsahib Says:

    Thanks for the link RCM; will check that out. hope it’ll give me exucse to drink (even) more wine. Roberta, I promise grass is better than dust! Except granted you can’t mow it. GW, loopy already. Nobody else to talk to, why not the stuff that’s masquerading as grass?

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