The Wrong Raju

My cell phone rings, “Raju” the screen tells me.

Hello Raju

Hello. Happy New Year. How are you?

Fine, fine …

I got your message …

Oh good Raju (wondering why he hadn’t bothered to respond when I sent it, three days ago). So now listen, when do you think you can come and fix the telly. The kids are going nuts.

Well I’m not sure what you mean …

You know, Raju, you know … the telly. It broke and you promised to come and fix it and you did and you took away a little part from inside the satellite dish and said you thought it had been cooked in a lightening strike and you took it away to fix it. You said you’d let me know how the repairs were going but I hadn’t heard so I sent you a message.

Yes, but I’ve been away and I still don’t know what you mean. What television? What day?  I have been away for Christmas.

I know that Raju, this was after Christmas; you came a few days after Christmas and promised to have the bit back to us for New Year.

Raju, rumour has it, enjoys the odd tipple. His utter inability to recollect any of the details of several telephone calls and a visit to the house to fix the telly is beginning to frustrate me. I am beginning to suspect he might be drinking now, even as we speak. Or perhaps he was inebriated when he came by which is why he has no idea what I’m talking about.

Oh Raju, surely you remember, I plead.

Sorry mama, this is Raju in Arusha. I don’t know anything about satellite televisions; I own a clothes shop.

Ah. Indeed he does. And the only reason I have his number on my phone is because I used to do a little currency trading with him.

Wrong Raju.

I apologise profusely whilst he busily – and sweetly – suggests a number of people who might be able to assist with television where he cannot.

I put the phone down feeling ridiculous.

He doubtless now thinks that it is I who has the drinking problem.

Hat suggests I edit my contacts, ”why don’t you put RAJU Arusha for that one and RAJU Television for the other, then you won’t look quite so silly”.

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5 Responses to “The Wrong Raju”

  1. Mzungu Chick Says:

    We should most definitely learn more from our kids. Hat is so right and it’s something my son would say too – he’s far too logical and sensible, he’s always catching me out! At least we’re old enough to feign a drinking problem – or perhaps a little senility (I am of course talking for myself here!!) – but it’s quite nice really to be able to get away with a little madness from time to time!

  2. reluctantmemsahib Says:

    Thanks MC. Madness imperative to life, an essential accessory, a coping tool. Regret I am also old enough to feign both senility and a drinking problem. On bad days there’s probably less ”feign” about it than is proper.

    As a serious aside, do hope thinks quieten in Kenya though not sure Kibaki has been sensible vis a vis cabinet choice at such a volatile time and with mediation in the offing?

  3. Potty Mummy Says:

    Easy for Hat to say. I bet she doesn’t even have a mobile yet. Doesn’t she realise half the fun is not knowing exactly who it is you’re calling?

  4. Kathleen Says:

    Oh my I had to laugh at this. I did this recently also, felt so silly!

  5. reluctantmemsahib Says:

    PM, no, she doesn’t have a mobile phone. She uses mine. Much as my older kids do when they are at home even though they have their own.

    Kathleen – heartening to know I’m not the only one! Thank you.

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