Crowing

Home now.

With piles of laundry for the washing machine, two mightily relieved dogs (who enjoyed the beach but not the getting to and from: one was impossibly car sick) and a pair of bantams.

We left the beach with three – a birthday present for Hat from her Great Uncle. But one escaped en route. I think somebody had let on to her that social life in the Outpost mightn’t be what she was used to. She took um at that and fled at the first opportunity, racing across a dawn lawn yesterday, squawking indignant protest:

 I’m not bloody going there: not if I can’t get a cappuccino and regular pedicures. 

I let her go. Partly because I sympathize but mostly because I couldn’t keep up with her.

Instead I crossly bundled her two remaining companions, which Hat has christened EggHead and FlipFlop, into a cardboard box, chucked a jumper over the top in the hope of deluding EggHead into believing it was still nighttime so that he wouldn’t crow the nine hours home and tossed the whole ensemble into the car.

He still did. Crow. Albeit intermittently and surprisingly. The sound of a rooster’s shrill call from behind your seat as you drive is unnerving.

Six hours into our journey Hat grew concerned that her chickens might be getting hungry.

Shall I give them the Dorito crumbs to eat? She enquired, rattling the almost empty packet.

I thought not. ‘Too much salt’, I said, ‘mighn’t be good for them’

Salt is on my mind. Mostly because I’m off it.

Your blood pressure is too high, said the doctor I saw recently.

I am outraged. High? I question resentfully. How can it be high? I’m not too heavy. I don’t drink too much (often). I never smoke (except when I drink too much).

How much salt do you use? He wanted to know.

Too much.

So I’m off the salt and selfishly won’t let anybody else enjoy what I cannot. So the bantams were off the salt too.

I have been up since long before sunrise. Thanks to Egghead who has been delighting in the sound of his own voice since 5 a.m.

Or just trying to piss me off because I wouldn’t’ let him and his missus finish the Doritos.

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12 Responses to “Crowing”

  1. nuttycow Says:

    Maybe you and Hat could start up your own bantum pedicure and manicure salon in the Outpost. The chickens would be queueing up to visit!

    Glad you had a good time.

  2. Tash Says:

    Welcome back. I wouldn’t worry too much about the salt thing… it’s all the rage these days for doctors to warn you off it, along with watching cholesterol. I think we need salt living in the tropics – more than the experts living in temperate climes, and whose diets are generally heavily doused with salt in all the convenience foods people buy in the shops (not Macdonalds) I mean everything on the shelves in supermarkets. So chill… besides, what good are bantam eggs without salt?

  3. Mzungu Chick Says:

    I’m with Tash – you can’t possibly enjoy an egg without salt !
    Will post cappuccino soonest. :o)

  4. Potty Mummy Says:

    Porridge is the answer, apparantly. It has something in it which cleans your bloodstream of some of it’s excess cholesterol. It’s the oat bran that does it. Of course you could go totally over the top and just put oat bran in everything like my mother did when dad was advised his cholesterol was too high: we had oat bran at breakfast, in home-made bread, spaghetti bolognese, you name it.

    Needless to say, there was a run on loo paper…

  5. reluctantmemsahib Says:

    Thanks All.

    PM: it’s blood pressure that’s the problem, not cholesterol. Thanks for the tip though. Loo paper always bought wholesale here. Courtesy less of oat bran and more of amoebia, giardia and other unusual and unwelcome gut flora and fauna.

  6. Expatmum Says:

    I’m just impressed that you can do such a long car journey with animals and child in the car. We did a two hour drive to Denver airport on saturday and I nearly opened the door and flung them all out while still at high speed!

  7. maggie may Says:

    A bit of what you fancy does you a world of good, so the old saying goes. So don’t worry too much about the latest food fads. I do believe in loads of fruit though!

  8. Iota Says:

    Husband and I were once told that we were known among friends as Mr and Mrs Pringle. I expect that made our salt levels way too high during that era of our lives.

    Octopus soup and doritos – your blog is going decidedly culinary.

  9. ann Says:

    We more or less gave up salt when the grand and greatgrandchildren were young. Now we don’t really miss is. But for all the good that did us my beloved Old Grumpy now has cancer (not because we gave up salt I hasten to add). I say enjoy everything you can while you can and you do need salt in the tropics so there!

  10. ann Says:

    We more or less gave up salt when the grand and greatgrandchildren were young. Now we don’t really miss it. But for all the good that did us my beloved Old Grumpy now has cancer (not because we gave up salt I hasten to add). I say enjoy everything you can while you can and you do need salt in the tropics so there!

  11. foxhollowjewelry Says:

    LOl…I can’t imagine a crowing rooster riding behind me in a car…but I used to have a pet cockatiel, and he would ride with me in the car on my shoulder…so I guess it couldn’t be much different!

  12. Irene Says:

    I think you need salt in a hot climate, don’t you? Is you doctor native enough to know that? Ach, who am I to question that?

    It sounds romantic to be wakened by a rooster, but it probably gets on your very early morning nerves after a few days.

    So, you are back in the outback after having had such a lovely time away. It will be good to hear from you how you experience your every day life again.

    It is good to ponder the myriad of thoughts one thinks while in the familar surroundings of home and share them with a “public.”

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