Hanging around the School Gate

Metaphorically, of course.  My geography precludes me from proximity to school gates.  Which is just as well given highlights well past due date and feet that are in dire need of a pedicure. I would be dismissed by fellow and always better coiffed mothers as having Gone Bush. I went there a long time ago, Ladies …

I digress.

Sarah Ebner who writes brilliant School Gate blog at The Times has uploaded a guest post in which I muse: What do you want to do when you grow up, I wonder, and what, sometimes more signifcantly, does your mother want you to do …

A recent letter to the same paper surmised my arugment perfectly. The correspondent said it was difficult not to feel smug but ultimately her parents had been wrong: a career in the theatre had, in the end, proved more solid than one in banking.

All said, a son who wants to be a science teacher is one thing. A daughter who aspires to be a celebrity chef is quite another …

15 Responses to “Hanging around the School Gate”

  1. Rob (Inukshuk Adventure) Says:

    I didn’t go to University. There was enough money for this I was told. I was also caught up in yet another parental war, this time revolving around my future career as decided upon by my dear well meaning, but unyielding parents. The problem was I had only two career options and what ever choice I made, two people would be unhappy. A teacher or a lawyer, those were my choices. Father would pay if I would teach and Mother would pay if I were to defend. Either choice would make me unhappy as it would the losing parent. In the end two of the players were unhappy. I chose my happiness and I’m still happy living my life, loving my life, my way.

    Sometimes I wonder what it might have been like had I been asked what I wanted to do and then allowed to follow my dream. Pure speculation of course and the truth is it doesn’t matter, I like me and where I am.

  2. Rob (Inukshuk Adventure) Says:

    Oh yeah, cool article and great to be offered that guest post!

  3. Iota Says:

    Great post in The Times. That England cricket team is going to be full – I know a few boys who are going to play in it.

  4. Tash Says:

    Forget parents. What about teachers? If they’d had their way I MAY have been a celebrity chef. My final report read – Natasha’s skill in the kitchen combined with her artistic flair will ensure her blah, blah blah… I’d had to settle for Domestic Science because the Geography A level stream was full… I HATED cooking and still do. Gave up art – in the fine sense – years ago, and seem to spend my life driving prima donnas around the bush, getting stuck in the mud, having flat tyres and numerous breakdowns (none of which I’m qualified to deal with either) and eating particularly non-remarkable packed meals… And I love my life! Anyway, how the hell do I know what I want to be when I grow up – it’s far too far off… xx

  5. Grannymar Says:

    Great post.

    It is difficult to find the correct line between advice and laying down the law.

    One of the most difficult things we have to do as parents is allow our children to make mistakes. We all made mistakes and hopefully learned from them and became stronger.

  6. Potty Mummy Says:

    I like to think I’m pretty laid back about what I would like my boys to do. Be happy. Be healthy. Be responsible. Get a great degree in environmental sciences, become a famous ecologist and save the world from itself. That sort of thing…

  7. kitschen pink Says:

    I don’t care as long as he visits me regularly and gives me big cuddles! xxx

  8. Janelle Says:

    celebrity chef? COOL! move over jamie! well. at least you have an excuse of Going Bush. i don’t. and i have. for years. you should see MY toes…. xx

  9. carol Says:

    Great article. Very hard decisions about what to be or not be – but in the end I feel that most of us end up making a decision that we are happy with. I love my job as a teacher and it’s what Mum always told me to be – but I did rebel against that and at one stage wanted to be a doctor – not sure I would have coped so well with the academics, longer time at college, work pressures etc – and definitely teaching is a great job when you have kids with the same school holidays!

  10. lulu campbell Says:

    Excellent article – how did you get to be a guest blogger? That is v impressive. I have just had my first careers meeting at my son’s school – how hard it is to gently guide them without influencing them Lx

  11. More than Just a Mother Says:

    Excellent article & fascinating blog. Thanks for dropping by mine 😉 As for future careers, I’m pushing my three towards being a mechanic, a plumber and an electrician. They may as well be useful…

  12. reluctantmemsahib Says:

    i think ”good for you rob”, that must have been tough at the time but i think coming out with happiness intact is a huge achievement. more than anything, i just want my kids to be happy people.

    i think you might be right, Iota. We can be MADs, as opposed to WAGs (Mums And Dads). x

    Great Tash. that’s really funny. as to what you want to be when you’re a grown up. i’m with you. still no clue. At 43 that still looks way too distant!

  13. reluctantmemsahib Says:

    ooooooh Grannymar, that is so so true. Letting go enough to allow them to make mistakes. it’s truly the best way to learn. hard as it might be to watch. thank you for that.

    PM. I agree. Health and happiness. Enough to buy their mother a small pad in Provence and keep her in a decent drop would be nice though …

  14. reluctantmemsahib Says:

    i agree kitschen: so long as they stay in touch. x

    Janelle. you aint seen Gone Bush darling! Not Outpost style! x

    Carol, i didn’t know any of that! i think you would have been a great doctor. but i think that would have been a huge loss to hundreds of the kids you have taught. x

  15. reluctantmemsahib Says:

    lulu, it is: hard to guide without influencing. as to guest blogger. very, very easy. i just harangued and harangued and harangued until poor ed realised only way to get mad woman from africa off her back was to give her two minutes to say her piece. and then hope she leaves you alone. Hah. she doesn’t know quite how much time i have on my hands! xx

    More than Just a Mother – i agree. And useful is good. It equates with busy and happy. not to mention how sought after good plumbers are. love your blog. hope gainful employment isn’t going to compromise your time such that you can’t keep writing regularly. well done on alpha mummy. great response. x

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