Where the Grass is Greener



morning walk


Miranda Hart said it in Call The Midwife, ‘I have acres and acres of time’.

Like me.

I know I should be grateful for all the open-ended hours, should use them wisely. But I’m overwhelmed by them; they loom and taunt, ‘What are you going to do with us all then, hey, hey, c’mon, make a plan?!’.

And I’m tired of change and loneliness. I want to have a home. In a city. Where I can drink capuccino with my best friend and go to her yoga classes and eat lunch from a menu and giggle.

I want to stamp my feet and shout, ‘enough, enough, I’ve had enough‘.

Instead I walk solitarily across a vast empty space (where the  grass really is greener than in my old dusty Outpost home. So why does it feel more intimidating?).

And have ethereal conversations to fill big silent gaps.


And I skulk on Facebook and see barefaced friends. And scour cyberspace for conversation and inspiration.  And I thought this was clever.


7 Responses to “Where the Grass is Greener”

  1. Kit Says:

    Yoga classes and cappuccinos are what I miss about living in a town or city too. I hope the big emptiness reveals some compensations soon. Thank goodness for the internet and chatting to friends online..

  2. Sue Says:

    Come back to us RM, I’m missing your fascinating posts.

  3. Ann Says:

    Oh RM, you are in a pickle aren’t you? I remember reading about your exotic lifestyle when I was nursing my dying husband. You sometimes helped me through the day because I was living a lonely existence too. My husband refused to go into hospital, didn’t want to be alone and didn’t want visitors so my only outlet was by reading other peoples’ stories so I know where you are coming from. But you know, life changes and you never know what is around the corner. Keep you pecker up. Love, Ann x

  4. Connie Says:

    Wondering how you are.

  5. Graham Says:

    Feel partly responsible! I am sure writing will help, as will realizing that your words will connect you to others around the world who care and can empathize. x

    • reluctantmemsahib Says:

      Never feel a bit responsible! We make our own luck to a large extent. Good and bad. For us a single bad decision, leaving the Outpost, triggered an avalanche of crises. As I remember you encouraged us to stay put back then … But we didn’t … And yes, words, friends, empathy all help x

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